Lojban Poetry

Lojban is famously known for being a "logical" language, that – at the same time – is supposed to be usable for everyday communication, including creative expression. On this page, I'm translating one of my German poems into Lojban. One might expect that this is not the easiest task with a "logical" language, but I'm curious to find out…

Hint: Check out the Lojban Cheatsheet for help with pronunciation.

zvajbi la SULtsybax.

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Lojban Text

English Translation

At the Sulzbach

In the sun, your face sparkles
You're the first to put me under your spell
Gladly, I trust you with my feet
I sit down with you, thoughtfully

You let my spirit promptly be restored
As your water plays with my feet
You calm me down, but I feel like I'm captive
Your clear bottom I can see

Laughing, I find tranquillity with you
Forgetting all the flowers around us
And even though the sun turns into rain
I free myself, still only quite reluctantly, from here

Wistfully, I would like to be with you again
When I see the fog through the window
Without warming sun, at home
I dream of your gentle flow alone

Interlinear Translation

Glossing Abbreviations

I'm using some custom abbreviations here to make the nomenclature more similar to common linguistic terms instead of using Lojban-specific words. This is intended to make the translation easier to understand for people unfamiliar with Lojban.

1	first argument ("x1")
2	second argument ("x2")
3	third argument ("x3")
1P	first person
2P	second person
An	syntactic particle: argument place n follows
DEF	definite article
NEG	negation
NPE	nounlike phrase ("sumti") ends
NPFn	nounlike phrase n ("sumti") follows
P	period between sentences (spoken punctuation)
PL	plural number
POSS	possessive
PROX	proximal
RELI	relative clause introduction
RELP	relative pronoun
RELT	relative clause termination
SG	singular number
TOP	new topic
VPF	verblike phrase ("selbri") follows
Xn/m	syntactic particle: switch argument places n and m

If you have further interest in the subject, I would strongly recommend that you familiarize yourself with Lojban terminology. Have a look at the Lojban cheatsheet to get a brief overview.

If you are interested in the phonological properties of Lojban, you can view the poem in the letter freqency analyzer (loading… requires JavaScript).

Translation Notes

1. The gismu "jibni" denotes proximity in an abstract sense, so to make it clear that we're talking about physical proximity, the rafsi of "zvati" is added. (title)
2. The gismu "solri" denotes a sun in the sense of a planet, so a rafsi of "gusni" is added to make it clear that we're referring to its light. (line 1)
3. This is a good example how "se" can be used for place order swapping, to mimic the syntax of the original text. (line 1)
4. "To sparkle in the sun" is translated with "mircai", which literally means "you are mirroring the sunlight". I find this sounds very poetic, and I like that it's a single word, i.e. the preposition "in" does not need to be translated. (line 1)
5. I used the attitudinal ".io" in the translation of "Angesicht" to convey that the German word sounds exalted. See also translation note ii. of the German-to-English translation below. (line 1)
6. Anthropomorphism is a common literary device in poetry and it's obvious that a river doesn't have a face. Lojban allows to mark expressions as metaphorical, and so I did. It's open to debate whether this is a good or bad idea for poem. (line 1)
7. I didn't really find a good translation for "to put someone under someone's spell" in the dictionary, so I went with "magic type-of attraction". As "to put under a spell" is literally "to pull under a spell" in German it seems that "attraction" is a fitting translation. (line 2)
8. Syntactically, this was the hardest line to translate, and using the set article "le'i may not be ideal. (line 2)
9. Again, I didn't really find a good translation for "to trust someone with something", so in I tried to come up with a translation that summarizes the emotions involved with attitudinals. Aside from the unfortunate fact that "trustfully" (a feeling of security) can only be translated negatively as "un-fearfully", it makes sense to me to express both the happiness and the trust using the same grammatical category. (line 3)
10. Obviously, the feet are not literally given away here, so marking the action as metaphorical seems reasonable even in a poem. Another option might have been a translation with "jbera". (line 3)
11. It seems there is no straightforward translation of "sitting down with someone", so this line looks a little complicated, but says literally the same as the German and English versions. (I'm not 100% sure about "cfa" – perhaps "zutse" would have been sufficient.) (line 4)
12. Again, the translation of "thoughtfulness" is a bit unfortunate, as it is translated negatively as "un-unintentionally" in the dictionary. (line 4)
13. Semantically, this was the hardest line to translate. "pruxi" seems to work well for "spirit" or "soul", but "ningau" for "restore" may need an metaphorical particle. (line 5)
14. The tense relation is pulled to the front to resemble the original syntax, which works well, but the double termination "ku ku" makes the line a bit long. (line 6)
15. The water is literally "playing in the proximity of the feet, involving movement". The word "umspielen" is a bit hard to translate – see translation note v. of the German-to-English translation below. (line 6)
16. Here, "captive" is translated literally as "feeling like a prisoner". Translating the double meaning of "gefesselt" ("captive" and "captivated") seemed kind of impossible. The attitudinal ".e'i" may have been an alternative to express a feeling of constraint, but I'm not sure how that would have worked out here with "trina". See also translation note v. of the German-to-English translation below. (line 7)
17. Place tags are used to mimic the original word order. (line 7)
18. There are several ways to translate "klar": "jinsa" as used in the poem, "klina", "curve" (not to be confused with the English word), and perhaps even "drani". All of them would have made sense more or less, but "jinsa" seemed like the best compromise. (line 8)
19. Default place order is swapped so the syntax is closer to the original. (line 8)
20. There is no dictionary entry for "river bed", is I chose the single gismu "jicmu" here to refer to the bottom of the river. I didn't make a tanru to leave more room for less literal interpretation. (line 8)
21. The translation "viska" is quite straightforward and doesn't capture all the nuances of the original. See translation note viii. of the German-to-English translation below. (line 8)
22. I'm not sure if the tanru "cmila facki" is the best solution here – perhaps a cumulative conjunction would have worked as well, but there is no conjunction in the original text. (line 9)
23. It is open to debate what the correct causal modal would be. There is not simply a physical cause, except maybe the water that is cooling the feet, but that certainly doesn't grasp the whole picture, so I chose the "logical" cause, as the lyrical I is reflecting on their experience with the river. (line 9)
24. The gismu "smaji" certainly does convey physical silence (absence of disturbing noise), but the original implies mental tranquility as well, as a reference to line 7, so I chose a compound that would more specifically refer to emotional calmness. (line 9)
25. Overall, the sentence got a bit long an technical, on the other hand, the reprise of the title is nice – something that cannot really be done with the preposition in the original title. (line 9)
26. I love how "forgetting" can literally be translated as "losing a memory", because that's what it is. Certainly a better fit than "tolmo'i which is yet another negative expression ("not-remember"). (line 10)
27. I like how the flowers get a more active role here, being the "subject" (i.e. "x1" in Lojbanic terms) of the relative clause. It highlights the fact that there are probably some exciting flowers in the vicinity of the river, even though they are not explicitly described in the poem, which makes the magical force of the river appear even stronger. (line 10)
28. I'm going for a literal translation of "becoming" here, because rain comes by actual physical movement of clouds in the sky, but maybe it should have been marked metaphorical. The original "umschwingen" is more nuanced, but I didn't see a way how that could have been translated. See also translation note x. of the German-to-English translation below. (line 11)
29. In the original text, there is one sentence spanning two lines, but the Lojban contrastive conjunction "ku'i" syntactically requires starting a new sentence. (lines 11, 12)
30. The compound "tolpifygau" ("un-imprison") does not capture the double meaning of the original, but the negation is fitting well here, and the attitudinal helps nicely with keeping the sentence short. See also translation note xi. of the German-to-English translation below. (line 12)
31. The place structure is very convenient here – I'm simply using "ti" ("this") to refer to the present situation as a whole as the thing that the lyrical I frees themselves from. No need for extra grammatical words. (line 12)
32. .uinai = sadly = wistfully I did not really find a translation for "melancholy" in the dictionary, except a very complicated lujvo. So instead, I picked two attitudinals that I think describe wistfulness well. (line 13)
33. As in line 9, the title is repeated here, a nice stylistic element not found in the original text. (line 13)
34. This is one sentence spanning three lines, intended to resemble the original word order as much as possible. (lines 14, 15, 16)
35. I was a bit reluctant to translate "though the window" literally, as this could be understood in a way that something or someone is actually moving through a window (not just the light that's being seen). So, I'm describing the window more generically as a "tool" used for seeing. (lines 14)
36. Perhaps "zdani" would have been sufficient to translate "home", but I decided to be more specific and mention that the home is physical building as well, to make it clear to the reader that he lyrical I is in a different physical location now (at home) and no longer at the river (which, emotionally, they might also consider a "home").
37. There seems to be no practical way of translating the double meaning of the original "alone", but at least the negative expression "nonkansa" ("un-accompanied") works very well here. See also translation note xii. of the German-to-English translation below. (line 16)

Original German Text

This is the original German text I wrote before attempting to translate into Lojban:

Interlinear Translation

For non-German speakers, a word-by-word translation of the original text is provided here, to make comparison of the Lojban translation to the original text easier:

Glossing Abbreviations

1SG	first person singular
2SG	second person singular
DEF	definite article
PL	plural number
POSS	possessive

Translation Notes

1. "Sulzbach" is the German name of the river (hydronym) in the poem and therefore remains untranslated. "Bach" could be translated as "brook", "creek". The prefix "Sulz" (cf. "Salz" = "salt") would historically be used to refer to highly mineralized waters. (In fact, there are multiple rivers, cities, and people named "Sulzbach" in Germany.) (title)
2. "Angesicht" is a rather poetic word for "face", that also conveys a sense of "presence of a person as a whole". The English "countenance" may seem similar, but apparently hints at (pretended) composure, while "Angesicht" does not. (line 1)
3. "to put so. under their spell" is literally "to pull so. under their spell" in German. (line 2)
4. "erquicken" means "to refresh" or "to revitalize" and is widely known from Martin Luther's bible translation, where it is used in a spiritual context. It is rarely used in everyday language. (line 5)
5. "umspielen" refers to playing with but also around ("um-") something. It cold be translated as "playfully moving around something". The expression is used in music, sports, but also in other areas. (line 6)
6. "gefesselt" has a double meaning: "captivated" (mesmerized), but also "held captive" (physically restrained). The English "captivate" also had the second meaning, but apparently sounds rather archaic when used this way nowadays. (line 7)
7. "klar" is typically used to refer to clear water, but is used with extended meaning here, implying that not only the water is clear, but the river is so pure that also the river bed is completely untainted. (line 8)
8. "erblicken" basically means to see something, but could imply a certain unexpectedness, and may be considered poetic. (line 8)
9. "um … herum" is a German expression for "around" that literally goes around the noun phrase by circumposition, and may also imply suddenness. (line 10)
10. "umschwingen" implies a state of change to its polar opposite, like the swing of a pendulum. (line 11)
11. "lösen" can also used to describe "[freeing by] literal untying of knots". It serves as a reference to "gefesselt" in line 7. (line 12)
12. "allein" is intended to convey the double meaning of "thinking about one thing exclusively" and "being alone, not in your company". (line 16)

Conclusion

Lojban is without a doubt an impressive project in the area of constructed languages. It does an excellent job at differentiating facets of grammar that other languages would intermingle, which makes it a valuable academic reference. It is certainly possible to translate poetry into Lojban. In my opinion, it is not harder to translate from a natural language into Lojban than translating between two unrelated natural languages. Certain connotations and double entendres inevitably get lost, but Lojban has some interesting features of its own that help compensate, like the attitudinals.

What actually makes Lojban hardly accessible for newcomers is, in my opinion, the syntax. While the fundamentals of Lojban's predicate logic ("a bridi is a selbri with zero or more sumti") are fairly easy to understand, your intuitive knowledge of syntax of any existing natural language is basically useless when trying to figure out if you put all Lojbanic particles, including obligatory terminators, in the correct place. In reality, to become fluent in Lojban, you would have to memorize not only the ca. 1000 particles and 1400 root words, but also train yourself to recognize their ca. 1500 short forms (rafsi), which adds to the impracticality.

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Copyright © 2021 by Thomas Heller [ˈtoːmas ˈhɛlɐ]